My mom's mother passed away when she was just fifteen. I have known this my whole life, but I am not sure I truly understood the magnitude of this until the past year or two. I never had the chance to meet my grandmother, but from what I hear, Mary Catherine Sasso was quite a woman. I can't wait to meet her in heaven someday. I have this picture of what she looks like in my head. I am pretty sure physically it may be all wrong, but the one thing I know to be true is how beautiful she is. Not just on the outside, but on the inside too. I picture her with short dark hair, quite often covered in a colorful, yet elegant scarf. I have one of her scarves in my room. It is blue and pink...I picture her wearing that. In my mind she a pretty small woman, thin, with strong hands and a soft face. You can tell from looking at her that she is Italian. I think. A mother to six amazing children, she had to have some serious patience and a sense of humor. If she is anything like her mother, Nana, she was strict and quick tempered, but gentle and loving. Every time I picture her, she is smiling. Like her children, I see a big, beautiful smile. I know she is in heaven, watching us, waiting for us, acting as our guardian angel and I know she is proud. Proud of her children and their careers and their families. She's probably sitting up their with Nana eating a big bowl of star pasta loaded of butter and shaker cheese. That was my favorite.
My mom lost her mom when she was fifteen. When I was fifteen I was full of raging hormones, one day yelling at my mom, the next day crying on her shoulder, and the next day laughing with her. I can look back now and admit I did not appreciate her the way I should have. I would have been lost without my mom when I was fifteen. How did she do it? Although I will never understand what she went through--so much of it helped make her such an amazing mom. I know her mom watches her everyday in awe of what a patient, loving, incredible mom she is.
When I was in high school I was convinced no matter what she said, my mother was never right. In fact, I was the one who always knew what was right and if he was not for her, I would have been the coolest, most popular kid in school. When I asked, "Why?", she would say, "Because I said so." Seriously, that was the LEAST favorite line. Ten years later, I can't WAIT to say that to my kids. I practice on my second graders sometimes. Ten years later, I have also realized that all those times I thought my mom was
wrong...she was actually...
right. I have learned more from my mom than I could ever write down, but in honor of Mother's Day I have compiled a list ten things she was totally right about--ten things I have learned from my Mother.
(These are JUST ten, if I wrote all the things I learned from my Mother, you would fall out of your chair in boredom.)
1. You should always have a stash of candy in the car. My mom always had a bag of tootsie rolls, bullseyes, jellybeans...something, underneath the front passenger seat in the car. She would always say they were there in case of emergency, so I guess that means anytime we went anywhere there would be an emergency. We were quite often digging into whatever was hidden. Recently I was in the car with my mom and was very disappointed to find there was nothing hidden under the front seat. My disappointed was soon dissolved when she pointed to the bag of jellybeans sitting between the two seats. You can know almost always find some kind of treat in my glove compartment. You never know when you might need it!!
2. Never show up empty handed. I can remember going over to my high school boyfriends house for the first time and my mom handing my a plate of cookies to bring with me. How embarrassing! Sure enough, I took them and was instantly loved by his mother. She taught me that no matter where I went, I should always bring the host something--cookies, flowers, wine...something. I now have this guilt that hangs over me if I forget to bring something when I visit some place new. Thanks Mom! :)
3. You can never have too many pairs of shoes. My husband clearly disagrees--but my mom has always encouraged my shoe habit. She introduced Danskos and J-41's, and Keens...and then I bought them. And then I became obsessed. She taught me that it is ok to have more than one pair of Danskos--a black and a brown.
(A side not to this one, is that my mom always made sure we had painted toes. The minute it was time for bare feet--we would paint our toes. My toes now feel naked without anything on them!)
4. Tylenol fixes everything. Can't sleep? Take two tylenol. Period cramps? Take two tylenol. Headache? Take two tylenol. Snoring husband? Take two tylenol. Sore throat. Take two tylenol. Get my drift? Sometimes I hear myself say it to Matt and laugh in my head. I am starting to sound like my mom! For the record...it almost always works. (Minus a snoring husband.)
5. Pain is beauty. I was eleven when my mom took me to get my eyebrows waxed. Yes folks, I
have had a uni-brow. (Thank-you Dad.) To make matters worse, it was a black uni-brow. My sweet, thoughtful mother told me that we needed to take care of that and off we went to the hairdressers for my first (of many) eyebrow waxing. It hurt like HECK. I think I even cried. This is when she first told me that sometimes you have to suffer to be beautiful. The next day I felt like a million bucks and I never got made fun of for my uni-brow. I still wax my eyebrows and in some strange way, sort of enjoy it.
6. No boy is every worth tears. I am sure by my forth dramatic break up in high school (with the same boy!) my mother was quite annoyed. Fortunately I never knew it. Each time she would listen to me as I cried and said the same things over and over again. She would remind me that I was only 16--but she would also understand that my heart had been broken regardless of how old I was. We would sit in the living room until midnight or one o'clock talking about love, life, moving on, etc. She would agree with how terrible this boy was and how I deserved so much better...and then she would listen when two days later I would get back together with him and the cycle would continue. She was always patient and always understanding.
7. When you find "the one" you will just know. Of all of the things I learned from my mom, I think this one stumped me the most. I never knew what it meant to "just know". Would it be like getting struck by lightening? Would someone be holding a sign? Would someone hit me over the head? How would I "just know"??? I dated some great guys through high school and college, but I could never call my mom and say, "Yes Mom, I just know". I was beginning to think she had no idea what she was talking about--and maybe what she had with Dad was something that most people don't have...until Matt. I can honestly say, that after meeting Matt, I completely understood this idea. I "just knew". I just knew he was the one and that I would marry him. Thanks Mom for always reminding me that someday, I would "just know".
8. A greek pasta salad is the perfect go-to bring along dish. The original credit for this lesson should be given to my Aunt Rachel, my mom's sister. She introduced the most basic, but delicious pasta salad to my mom. This pasta salad is my go to dish whenever we attend a potluck, BBQ, book talk...or I even find myself making it for Matt and I! It is so simple...pasta, tomatoes, onions, greek olives, feta, and greek dressing--but it really can't be beat. Every time I bring it somewhere, someone wants the recipe. Thanks Aunt Rach...and Mom for this perfect pasta dish!
9. If you have period cramps, exercise. I have the hardest time admitting she is 100% right on this one. The first reason being I tend to struggle to get myself motivated to exercise and the second reason being it is almost impossible to pry myself up off the couch to exercise when I have my period! However, when I am able to do it--I usually feel a heck of a lot better. (I also follow lesson Number 4 and pop two tylenol.) When I am in a good exercise routine, my cramps are never half as bad as when the extent of my exercise is reaching my hand into a bag of chips. If only I could convince my body of this when I am stuck in bed with a heat pack on my ovaries!
10. I can do whatever I want. The last, and probably most important thing I learned from my mother, is that I can do anything and everything I put my mind to. There are countless times where I would break down telling her I could not do it, I was not good enough, I was not smart enough, I was not motivated enough--and she always told me, I could do it, I would do it, and it would be the best yet. It seems like such a simple thing, but it has taken me a very long time realized the full potential of this lesson. There are still times where I call my mom close to tears just to hear her tell me to snap out of it and to remind me, that if I really want it, I can do it.
While writing all of this down I have thought of so many other wonderful things my mother has taught me. She has taught me patience, given me a passion for children and learning, instilled in me a constant motivation to do better, given me a Godly role model, created for me a woman that I strive to someday be. My mother is a mother that her mother is proud of and other mothers look up to. Thank you Mom for being the most amazing, generous, understanding mother any girl could ask for. Happy Mother's Day! xoxoxox
PS. On a not so sappy note, my mother also taught me today that it is ok to buy half off wine from the middle of the grocery aisle in Hannaford. There is nothing wrong with cheap wine!
PPS. I did not proof read this, so please excuse any errors...I was tired.
